Harden Not Your Hearts: Practicing Empathy on Social Media
The other day I had the opportunity to spend some quiet time in prayer before Mass began. There were a few things heavy on my heart, especially after learning about some abusive messages someone has been receiving after sharing her heart on social media. These were messages from fellow self-identified Catholic and Christian women.
As I focused on the cross, I begged Jesus to let me clearly hear His voice. I heard Him say quite clearly, “cruelty hardens hearts.” I asked for confirmation because sometimes I think I hear Him but then I wonder if maybe it’s just my own thoughts.Jesus is faithful. As I was listening to our musicians begin the Psalm refrain, my ears perked up. “If today you hear His voice, harden not your hearts.” Well played, Jesus. Ever the skeptic, though, I kept asking for confirmation. Because I just want to be sure, right? When I sat down to listen to the homily, Father minced no words in calling out the contempt we see on social media, reminding us that we are commanded to approach one another in love and with forgiveness, that Jesus models for us a radical love that doesn’t demean or cast people aside, but engages people with love so as to soften their hearts to receive the Gospel. Copy that, Jesus. Loud and clear.
Cruelty, my friends, hardens not just the hearts of those on the receiving end, but ours as well. Especially in this heated political season, or maybe with more time on our hands in the midst of a pandemic, it seems many of us have forgotten there are flesh and blood (and spirit) humans on the other side of the screen. We have begun to assign value to one another based on our political beliefs, our candidate choices, our understanding of where the Lord is leading us in our discernment of the issues that face our country and world. Perhaps, cruelty is a symptom of a heart that is already hardened to the loving mercy of God. Entire legacies are centered on our disagreements. We see each other for our deficiencies rather than our belovedness. That is a hard heart indeed.
Summerly Sherlock, @redingtonly.
Social media lends itself to this dehumanization particularly well. Its immediate and constant connection creates a false sense of intimacy. We often don’t know what people suffer, or what leads them to believe what they do. Maybe we would show more empathy in our conversations if we sought first to understand instead of first seeking to be heard. When we see people as “marks” to be won over or saved from themselves, as is evidenced by so many comment threads, it is easier to write them off when they don’t fall in line with our own conclusions. Contempt begins to creep in as we start to divide people into “good people” and “those people” in our heads.
Contempt and cruelty only breed distance and anger – or worse yet, disdain. Jesus calls us to love one another as He did. He didn’t wait for us to fall in line with the party platform or perfect our hearts. In fact, He gave His life knowing we would sin and fall short in every imaginable way. We are called to love one another in this radical way. I’m not saying there isn’t room for disagreement or loving correction. We don’t have to agree with one another, but we must examine our own hearts and stop looking at each other as outside the bounds of grace and redemption.
My heart aches knowing the pain caused by careless and cruel keyboard warriors, even if some of them “mean well.” If we are going to be warriors, let’s be led by love and mercy, gentleness and compassion. Better yet, let’s just be ambassadors of Christ, remembering His example of tenderness toward the hurting and the lost.
Meet Rakhi McCormick
Rakhi is a wife and mother currently serving as the Coordinator of Mission & Outreach at her home parish in Metro Detroit all while trying to keep up with her husband of 10+ years, three young children, and a growing creative business. She is a first-generation Indian-American and a convert from Hinduism. Rakhi’s greatest joy is speaking light into darkness and encouraging others to discover their identity in Christ using the gifts they possess. She uses the varied experiences of her life as her inspiration as an artist, a writer, and a speaker. When not chasing her children, you can find Rakhi singing, dreaming of Italy, hanging out on Instagram (@rakstardesigns), and making beautiful things and messes, all with coffee in hand.