You Are Not Alone: The Role of Community in Discernment
Decision making. God’s will. Community. Trust. Faith.
These are all words that come to mind when I hear the word discernment. Discernment is a process of making a decision for our lives that honors God’s will. This can come in the form of your vocation, family decisions, or professional career changes, to name a few. When we are making a choice or decision to honor His will, it is always important to have time in prayer with God; this is how we build up our trust in Him and have faith that He is providing us a pathway to Heaven. There is nothing more powerful than the power of prayer nor a better way to understand God’s will than spending time in prayer with Him listening to what He puts on your heart.
In addition to all this, a key part to discernment is community. Discernment is not a process that has to take place in a bubble. One of the beautiful gifts of our Catholic faith is the built in community, because community can aid in our discernment process. We are told in Scripture, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” Matthew 18:20. Whether we are gathering for Mass, Bible study, or a retreat, Christ is present.
He is also present in and through our family and friends, whether we are gathering for coffee with a friend, taking a walk with our parents, or going on a trip to the park with a fellow mom and her kids. When we speak with our community about our discernment process, He is present in that conversation. The Holy Spirit can guide the thoughts and words of those whose advice we are seeking to help us make the best decision. Talking with a trusted priest or religious sister, having a spiritual director, and speaking with family and friends who are rooted in our Catholic faith can have a profound impact on helping our discernment process.
God has put these people in our lives and they know our hearts sometimes better than we know ourselves. Asking their advice and opinions can help us better understand if what we are discerning is of God and if the choice to follow this new plan will help us grow closer to the Lord and get to Heaven.
Mary Beth Keenan, @mb_keenan.15.
Discernment can be a scary time; sometimes we are discerning something that feels weighty, like a life-altering decision that God has placed on our hearts. Uncertainty about what the future holds if we follow God’s will can be difficult.
Whenever I think of discernment for my life, I immediately think of three profound moments - switching my major in college, choosing to marry my husband, and leaving my job to be a stay at home mom. Each decision was unique, but they all had something in common - the Lord had put a new path on my heart that I said “yes” to. In each of these scenarios, there was a major life decision that had to be made. I am someone who loves certainty and a clear path forward. With these decisions, I was putting my trust in the Lord that He would provide a beautiful path forward, even though I could not see exactly what the end result would be.
Making a life altering decision can be scary, especially if you are not sure if the decision is aligned with God’s will. God did not create us to be alone; He created us to be in community with others. I relied on the community surrounding me by talking with my parents, close friends, and trusted priests in all of these scenarios. Community was important to me during this process because God can work through other people and let us know His will through them. Their wisdom and understanding of my heart allowed them to help me sift through my prayer and what the Lord was sharing with me.
One of the best pieces of advice I received was that if there is peace with the decision I am leaning towards, it is probably of God, and if there is angst, it is not of God. That helped me immensely in figuring out what God was putting on my heart. This advice, combined with the support and wisdom of my community, has helped me transition to different stages of life. While not all of my decisions may have been perfect, I feel extremely happy and blessed to have followed God’s will to the best of my ability.
All of my decisions and plans that I make for my life are with an eye to God's plan for me. The choices I have made led me to the beautiful life I am cultivating with my husband and three babies today. I could not be more grateful for the life that the Lord has given me, but that has only been possible because I listened to what He put on my heart and followed the advice of my community to say “yes” to what the Lord was asking of me.
Meet Mary Mailloux
Mary Mailloux resides on Long Island with her husband and two kids. There is nothing that brings her more joy than being home with her children and seeing the world through their eyes. Her role as mother is her most treasured gift from the Lord, and she loves experiencing God's presence through her home and family life. Most days, you can find her trying, and failing, to drink her coffee while it is still hot, and in a messy bun playing with her kids. In her free time, she loves baking treats for her family & friends, going to Met games with her husband, or curling up with a good book. You can connect with Mary on Instagram @marykatemailloux.