How God Used my Christ-Centered Friendships to Show Me Love
Friendships are difficult. The rules we learn on the playground don't always translate into adulthood.
My small family has moved to new areas of the country every few years because of my husband's job. After a series of failed attempts, I became less confident in my ability to develop the friendships my heart longed to experience.
One move, in particular, helped me see that I had been looking for friendship in all the wrong places.
How would I find friends?
After most of our boxes were unpacked, I began "shopping" for a church. This was a luxury I had never been afforded in our previous towns. Our new home was within 5 miles of 5 Catholic churches. After walking the children to school, I'd get in my car to investigate what each parish had to offer.
My focus, at the time, was on what the church could offer my children. I never really considered that it would be a place for me to make friends as an adult.
In the middle of a nondescript day, I stood in the church on the main street of town. The receptionist, the cutest young man you can imagine, handed me the flyers for religious ed. I pondered whether the day of the week they met would work for our schedule.
Little did I know that God had something in mind for me too.
I looked up and realized the receptionist was still talking to me.
As he pointed toward the door, my gaze followed his hand. A sign with bright pink and green script advertised a Bible study. The font colors were so bright, and my loneliness so palpable, that no objection could stand in my way.
A few months later, a woman smiled and handed me a binder as I walked into a room of well-dressed strangers.
I was intimidated. Yet, these women seemed so friendly. Maybe I had been wrong all along.
Week after week, I learned.
These women taught me not only how to make enough coffee for a crowd, but how to open my heart in a crowded room. All these years later, I am still amazed by the friendships developed sitting around the table sharing our lives over bible verses.
Rather than trading gossip over wine, I discovered the joy of bearing witness to miracles delivered through repeated prayer.
After years of failing in previous Bible study commitments, I knew the feeling of gathering in a safe space to share my faith.
Rather than competing, I finally knew what it was like to collaborate. I found contentment in working alongside other women who shared the same goals.
I thought this was all I needed to know about friendship, but God had one more surprise in store.
We were moving again.
As the moving trucks loaded the last of the boxes, I wandered the empty rooms of the home I loved, while the dust bunnies frolicked in the summer sunlight.
A knock at the door echoed up the stairs. I figured the movers forgot something.
Opening the door, tears threatened to spill as I saw my Bible study friend laden with cleaning supplies. My feelings of overwhelm and invisibility evaporated.
My friend, who could easily have sent her full time housekeeper, came to share herself.
She poured words of encouragement over me as she bolstered my confidence that I could handle another move. She painted pictures of new friends, new adventures, and new experiences as we cleaned alongside each other.
In that moment, I felt God's love filling in the cracks of my heart formed on the playground. A true friend did not need to say good-bye.
Mary Beth Keenan, @mb_keenan.15
1. Christ-centered friendships develop in likely and unlikely places. They can grow from seeds planted in conversations started on the playground, DM's on Instagram, or over lukewarm coffee in a church basement.
2. Christ-centered friendships require both people to be available, interested, and vulnerable. Sometimes, it takes a while to find all three of these qualities in the same person at the same time. If you haven't found this yet, see if you can't foster some of these qualities in yourself first.
3. Often, Christ-centered friendships start in shared circumstances or bonds of kinship. Mary and Elizabeth's friendship is one of my favorite examples. They were cousins who experienced miraculous pregnancies simultaneously. Their ages and the geographical distance between them did not stop them from sharing their hearts and lifting each other to new heights.
4. Christ-centered friends call us to higher virtue. Being comfortable is not always a sign that a friendship is from God. If we are uncomfortable, it could be God's way of inviting us into something better, richer, or more meaningful.
As Saint Aelred of Rilveaux reminds us, "a true friend sees nothing in his friend but his heart".
May you be blessed to find a true Christ-centered friendship.
May you have the confidence to be vulnerable with her.
May you have the patience to allow the friendship to grow at its own pace.
May you experience a foretaste of heaven as you find joy in her presence.
Meet Katie Kibbe
Katie is a writer and speaker who helps busy women live more thoughtful lives. Now living in Ohio, she and her husband have two adult children and a four-legged friend named Maggie. She is the author of several Scriptural reflection guides including Abide and Arise.