Carrie Khodanian on Ecclesiastes 3
She Speaks is a conversation series that launches with each Ruah book.
For each She Speaks, we ask five women to answer the same three reflective questions about one meaningful theme. It's an honor for us to share the heartfelt words of these women.
You will see several videos in the blog post below. Following each video, there is a short transcription of what Carrie says, so you can either watch the video OR read her wise words.
Grab a cup of coffee or tea, cozy up, and enjoy!
Wisdom from Carrie Khodanian
on Ecclesiastes 3:1-15
Can you share a little about yourself?
Hi! My name is Carrie Khodanian, and I’m the owner of Stella & Tide, a catholic jewelry shop. I’ve been married to my husband, Gary, for two and a half years. We’ve been together since we were 16, and I’m a convert. I converted in 2016.
Which verse from the Ecclesiastes passage best describes your current season of life? Why?
My husband and I are currently in the season of waiting for God to bless us with children. I think the first six months of that, of not being able to figure out why we weren’t able to have children, was very difficult. I had this plan in my mind that we would get married at 22 and we would have kids before we were 25. I’m one month away from my 25th birthday and still nothing has happened.
I related to the verse “A time to mourn and a time to dance” from Ecclesiastes because for that first six months, I really struggled with being angry at God. “Why didn’t God follow my plan for my life?” which looking back seems very selfish, but that’s how I felt. I think a lot of people feel that way too, maybe, when the same kind of situation happens. I think I needed a little time to mourn this idea that I had in my mind, and this dream that I had.
However, I changed my mindset and now I feel like I wasted a lot of my time being angry at God and being angry at what I didn’t have, instead of being joyful for what I do have. I have so many things to be thankful for and to be joyful about. I have a good family, and a good husband, and an education. I’ve been able to travel, and I have my own business, which I love, and a community of like-minded people to be around. I think I could lose all of that tomorrow, and here I am, not being joyful about those things and not dancing because I have this great life, and instead I’ve been worrying too much about tomorrow and not being thankful for what I do have.
I think I now have seen, I’ve changed my mindset, and instead of worrying about what I don’t have, I now think more about what I do have. I feel like I’ve mourned this idea in my mind and now I’m dancing because I’ve realized all the good things in my life. I think St. Gianna Beretta Molla put it really well. I have it written down over here, so I’m just going to read it to you really quick.
She says that “the secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for what He is sending us everyday in His goodness.” I think that is the perfect way to sum it all up.
How do you strive to embrace each season of your life? Can you share an example from this season or a previous season?
After I spent a few months grumbling, wondering why God hadn’t given me children when I wanted children, I felt really guilty about it. So what do you do when you feel extremely guilty about something? You go to confession! And that’s what I did.
I spoke to a priest about it and he told me to pray for perseverance, grace, and the grace to persevere. I literally walked out of the confessional and thought, “That is probably the most wisdom I have heard in awhile!” So I prayed to be blessed by those things and that has really helped me during my current season of waiting.
If you could offer yourself wisdom on this subject what would it be? What does your heart need to hear today?
If you’re currently in the season that I’m in, I want you to know that you’re not alone in the way that you feel or the situation you’re in. I guarantee there is a ton of people who are going through the same thing and nobody will talk about it.
I also don’t want you to compare yourself to anybody else or where anybody else is. I think it can be really easy to compare yourself to your friends, where your friends are at, or people at your church, but I want you to compare yourself to you. I want you to strive to be a better saint today than you did yesterday, to be a kinder person today than you were yesterday, to trust in God a little bit more today than you did yesterday.
I would also say - don’t put your life on hold if you’re not getting what you want now. I think especially people who go through infertility they think that “Oh, well, I’m hoping to be pregnant at Christmas next year, so we can’t do anything, we can’t plan anything. I might have morning sickness, whatever. I think in our minds, we want to plan and we want to hope in something, but just remember that God has a plan for you, and you don’t need to worry; He will sort things out. I think it can be easy to watch your life pass you by because you’re planning on something, but you have to remember that we’re not guaranteed tomorrow.
I also want you to know that God has this plan that He made specifically for you. God made those crystal clear waters of Bora Bora, and He made the ice, He made the mountains, and the waterfalls in Iceland. He made the beaches of Hawaii, but He also made YOU. That is something to remember and hold close to your heart - that God has this perfect plan that He made specifically for you and its better and more perfect than anything you could come up with.
About Carrie Khodanian
Carrie Khodanian is a wife, entrepreneur, and Catholic convert. In 2018, she launched Stella & Tide, a dainty Catholic jewelry business. She’s dedicated to spreading and affirming the true Christian faith for women across the world in "the little way" of offering Catholic jewelry that's handmade with the utmost love. Some of her favorite things include cookies, good mystery novels, the beach, theme parks, and her family.