Holiday Hurt: Finding Hope After Loss
I am a woman who loves certainty and routine. I mean, who doesn’t? We love to have things we can depend on: from the moon always setting and the sun always rising, to seasons changing, and holiday celebrations year after year. It feels good to know we can count on something- that is, until the very things we can count on come after we’ve experienced a big loss in our lives. Then the sun rising doesn’t feel as spectacular, and the holidays feel more daunting than exciting.
Loss isn’t always about a loved one who dies. It’s also divorces, job losses, and the loss of good health. Holiday hurt abounds when we have had a big loss and sometimes it can be devastating. We can get stuck in a dark place during a time which is supposed to be so life giving and full of light and love.
We’ll see the commercials with happy gatherings, the storefronts will display grand smiles, and the buzz of joy and excitement will abound. That’s when it settles. That’s when we are faced with how much it really hurts to have experienced loss.
This Thanksgiving and Christmas will be my first one without my husband and his family. He left in January and the hurt, which comes more than it goes, has been intensifying as I have thought about the holiday season. It will look so much differently than it has in the past. All of those traditions and gatherings will be missing me. My children will still participate, but the hurt and sting I feel knowing I am not with them can be hard to bear. I can easily get stuck there, and become overrun with the sadness.
But while holiday hurt is inevitable for many of us, it doesn’t have to steal the joy that awaits us- the ones who struggle to find hope amidst the pain.
Bryanne Devlin, @brydevlin.
Listen, dear friend. The Lord, the Light of the World, does not dim when we hurt. He shines ever brighter into our lives, waiting for us to look up, and let his face shine upon us so that we may be radiant. He is with us in our hurt. He is there to heal us. To hold us. To walk with us. His Word promises such.
It’s okay to hurt, but I pray you can find hope this holiday season from some of these scriptural promises from a God who doesn’t leave us even when others do, by choice, or by death.
You are not alone, so take heart and choose joy.
Scripture verses to dwell on:
• He is near – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
• You are not alone – “Where can I go from your spirit? From your presence where can I flee? If I ascend to the Heavens, you are there; if I lie down in Sheol, there you are. If I take the wings of dawn and dwell beyond the sea, even there your hand guides me, your right hand holds me fast.” Psalm 139:7-10
• You are not forgotten – “Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.” Isaiah 49:15
• You are loved – “Though the mountains fall away and the hills be shaken, my love shall never fall away from you.” Isaiah 54:10
• You will have joy again – “Then young women shall make merry and dance, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into joy, I will show them compassion and have them rejoice after their sorrows.” Jeremiah 31:13
• You will have peace – “Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
Meet Eileen Perez
Eileen Perez is a joy seeker in the everyday and mundane and lover of all things Jesus. She loves to try all the Whole30 or Paleo recipes, cries over everything (good and bad), talks about Dave Ramsey, she loves a good IPA and lengthy conversations with friends, and reads as much as possible. When she’s not doing those things, she’s chasing after her two little ones or spending time at work as a high school Campus Minister. If you want to see a hodgepodge of non-perfected posts from a modern day working Catholic mom, who will never get the lighting right for a photo, follow her on Instagram @franciseileenperez.