Peace in Slowness
“How have you been?” a friend asked when we ran into each other. “Very busy!” I responded brightly. She nodded sympathetically, and we continued to fill each other in on the busyness of our lives since we last met. I told her about how my days were filled with exercise classes, grocery shopping, toddler events at the library, managing my Etsy shop, etc. etc. Oh, and in my spare time, I worked on checking chores off my to-do list I wrote every morning. I was exhausted just thinking about all that! We live in a society that glorifies the hustle, and I was caught in the hamster wheel.
A few weeks later, I suddenly started feeling very sick and nauseous after spending the morning running errands and doing chores. I felt exhausted and ended up laying on the couch until dinner time while my toddler played nearby. I wasn’t pregnant - several negative pregnancy tests confirmed that. I was puzzled as to why I was possibly feeling so miserably sick.
Then, after a few days of resting on the couch, just not doing much, I started to feel better. I had less afternoons of nausea and my energy slowly started to return. I started to conclude that perhaps it was exhaustion from being so busy, and my body was screaming at me to slow down. I decided to ditch my daily to-do list (half of which was things I didn’t really need to do, anyways) and focus my meager energy on what really mattered.
I realized that I needed a new game plan if I wanted to spend less time being busy and more time just being. When I reviewed my days, I concluded that a lot of my precious energy was spent cleaning up the same stuff over and over. I grew interested in the benefits that a minimal lifestyle could offer me and my family, and took on the task of going through my belongings and keeping only what we needed and enjoyed. Anything that was unnecessary, or that just never got used, was donated. I began storing and rotating my toddler’s toys so that only a few were out at any given time. I found that she was happier and more involved with having only a few toys to choose from, rather than being overwhelmed with all her choices. I soon found that I was able to clean up after her in less than 30 seconds, which eliminated a major source of stress.
So what exactly does slow living entail? For me, it means not taking on unnecessary obligations, minimizing chaos in my surroundings, creating a daily rhythm, and taking time to pray in silence. Here’s what I did to help slow down my daily rhythm and minimize stress and chaos in my life:
1. Acknowledge that being busy is not equivalent to being important. This was a big hurdle for me! I am the type of person who enjoys checking off tasks on my to-do list and reviewing all that I have accomplished at the end of the day. It was a source of pride, and it took humility for me to accept that being less busy does not make me less important.
2. Say “no” to unnecessary obligations. I’ve stopped taking my toddler to all the programs, running all the errands, and attending all the social functions. I don’t need to do it ALL. If it doesn’t fill my soul with peace, and I am not obligated to do it, then I just don’t do it!
3. Minimize clutter and chaos within your home. This one will take some time and effort on your part, but once you minimize, you’ll feel so much more at peace! Minimalism can look much different from household to household. You don’t need to only have 4 forks to have a minimalized home. Rather, take some time to think about what you truly love and utilize within your home and donate anything you don’t need. Less stuff = less time cleaning and less chaos.
4. Add in prayer and quiet meditation. While you are cutting out the unnecessary things, add in the necessary! Carving out time in your day to pray and meditate will give you the grace you need to live an intentional and peaceful life.
Now that I’ve implemented these things into my life, I’ve seen a huge decrease in my daily stress and an increase in my joy and peace. I’m able to appreciate the simple moments in my day as I care for my one year old and I’m able to connect more deeply with my husband. With less time spent running around and frantically cleaning, I have more time to focus on prayer and dedicating my tasks and actions to the Lord.
“Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
-Luke 10:38-42
Meet Marissa Federline
Marissa is a 20-something wife, stay-at-home mama, and artist striving to find Truth and Beauty in her everyday life. Her days are spent wrangling her toddler, re-heating her coffee, baking sourdough bread, and trying to find time to read and paint. You can find her on Instagram @stella_maris_prints.