Union With God Through Community and Prayer: Celebrating Advent Like Mary Would
Recently, while praying the joyful mysteries of the rosary and meditating on the Visitation, I’ve been struck by the word “haste” in Luke 1:39-40: “In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a city of Judah, and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth.”
Mary left Nazareth to visit Elizabeth pretty soon after she became pregnant. For the first few months I was pregnant with my daughter, I wasn’t going “with haste” anywhere. The only place I traveled to was through Appalachia to visit my in-laws, and I kept my eyes closed the whole trip while my husband drove to try to prevent motion sickness from worsening my morning (noon, and night) sickness. And I was without the shock and the expectation of scandal that Mary was likely experiencing.
To reach Elizabeth, Mary had to travel 100 miles—uphill, and likely through dangerous roads. While pregnant. So, why did she go at all, let alone with haste?
Ardent Charity
St. Louis de Montfort’s “True Devotion to Mary” identifies 10 virtues that Mary exemplified. One is “ardent charity,” and this virtue is exemplified in the Visitation. I’m sure Elizabeth was able to give Mary some counsel and comfort, but it’s clear from the strenuous nature of her journey that Mary was thinking of her cousin when she went to visit her, not of herself. She heard that the older woman was pregnant and went to serve her.
How often, when big events happen, do we think of others rather than ourselves? For that matter, how often in the course of everyday life do we forget ourselves in order to serve?
It’s easy to say, “Mary was full of grace!” and feel that her virtue is unattainable. During the difficult early days of my own pregnancy, I frequently felt that Mary couldn’t possibly relate to me. I was almost resentful: Surely it was easier for her, right? But that was the wrong attitude to take. Mary was full of grace, but we aren’t lacking any grace. God gives us grace, too—we just have to cooperate with it.
Union With God
Which brings me to a critical point: Everything that Mary did was supported by her union with God. Beloved daughter of the Father, spouse of the Holy Spirit, mother of the Son, Mary’s entire being was filled with God—his spirit and, for nine months, his body. This union gave her strength. It gave her hope. It gave her the grace to be so charitable.
We may not be Jesus’ mother, but we do fill ourselves with his body, every time we receive Communion. We may not be the spouse of the Holy Spirit, but we did receive the Spirit’s gifts at Confirmation. And, we are all beloved daughters of the Father.
We can achieve union with God by following Mary’s example. As Caryll Houselander writes in her book about Mary, “Reed of God,” “It is really through ordinary human life and the things of every hour of every day that union with God comes about.” Mary cooked. She cleaned. She fed Jesus. She visited with friends. She and St. Joseph talked about their day in the evening. They traveled. They lost Jesus and found him again. Throughout it all, they prayed. Their life was a prayer that brought them in union with God—and that union enabled them to show ardent charity.
Uniting With God and Others During Advent
Advent is a great time to practice uniting yourself with God and with others. Here are a few steps you can take during this season:
Volunteer
There are more opportunities to volunteer during Advent than at any other time of year. Organize a toy or coat drive at your office. Spend an afternoon at a food pantry. Host a baby shower for your local pregnancy center (do it in honor of Mary and baby Jesus for an Advent-themed party!). Check your parish’s website; there’s likely many ways you can get involved with the community through a ministry there.
Begin and end your volunteer work with prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit to bless your work and the people you’re serving. Being intentional with your volunteering can bring you into union with God and your community.
Pray a Novena
While the St. Andrew Christmas Novena technically already started (on St. Andrew’s feast day), it’s never too late to jump in. It’s not a typical novena, as it’s more than one prayer per day and lasts more than nine days: Pray this prayer 15 times each day from now until Christmas Eve. Worried you won’t remember to pray it 15 times per day? Set the prayer as your phone background image, add reminders every half hour during the work day, or print it out and put it somewhere you’ll see it frequently (like your bathroom mirror, if you’re home during the day).
To build community and accountability, ask a friend or two to join you. Send each other texts throughout the day, and say the final prayer of the day together in person or via FaceTime. Consider praying for each other’s intentions instead of your own. At the end of the novena, get together for some hot chocolate (or wine) to celebrate!
Pick an Advent Read
Pick a book to read and pray with during Advent. It doesn’t have to be specifically about Advent or Christmas; just find something that speaks to what the Lord is asking from you during this season of your life. I decided to reread “Reed of God” for Advent and downloaded Haley Stewart’s free study guide from Ave Maria Press to help me reflect on what I read.
Again, you can do this one in community. Form an Advent small group with some friends or fellow parishioners; read individually and then get together to discuss what you read. It’s always fruitful to hear other people’s insights on something you’re reading.
Frequent the Sacraments
In what we might consider the first Advent, Mary carried Jesus for nine months in her womb. We can carry him, too. Go to Mass at least once during the week (other than Sunday) to praise God in community and receive the Eucharist. Plan to go to Confession before Christmas. The sacraments are a gift—and, I don’t know about you, but I don’t receive them enough. Advent is a great time to change that.
Ask a friend to go with you to Mass, or plan a Confession date with your husband or boyfriend. While individual prayer is important, so is worshiping with the people you love and encouraging each other in holiness (particularly if you’re married).
However you celebrate Advent this year, follow Mary’s lead: Keep Christ at the center of your life, look for ways to serve others, and make your daily life a prayer.
Meet Taryn DeLong
Taryn Oesch DeLong is a wife and mother in Raleigh, NC. In between changing diapers, reading stories, and singing lullabies, she is also a freelance editor and writer. Passionate about supporting women in work, in life, and in health, she is the managing editor of Catholic Women in Business, a contributor at Natural Womanhood and Live Today Well Co., and a fertility awareness advocate and FEMM instructor. In her free time, Taryn enjoys relaxing with a cup of Earl Grey and a Jane Austen novel. She also volunteers with the pro-life ministry at her parish and plays the piano and the flute. Taryn’s favorite saints are Sts. Joseph, Zélie, Thérèse, and Teresa of Calcutta. Follow Taryn on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, or read her blog, Everyday Roses.