Women at the Well: The Heart of a Mom with Older Kids
Editor’s Note: Women at the Well is an ongoing blog series. Each month, a different woman shares how God is meeting her in her current season of life. Today, we’re thrilled to have Laura Dominick joining us to talk about her walk with God as a mom to older children.
Tell us a bit about yourself, your current vocation as a mom to older kids, and your normal daily routine.
Hello! My name is Laura Dominick and I am a wife, mother of seven and in my final years of homeschooling my brood! This fall, I’ll be starting my 24th year as a homeschooling mom, with two years left before I retire. Truly, I am on the cusp of something new.
My children are older, which makes me “older”, too, I guess. My oldest is 29, is married and lives nearby. My second daughter lives nearby, also. My third daughter lives in Virginia and my fourth daughter lives at home. My oldest son (#5) is in his senior year at Wyoming Catholic College. My 5th daughter is just beginning cosmetology school and my last child, my baby boy (he’d cringe if he read that) is a junior in high school.
My vocation as a mother looks a lot different now than it did a few years ago. Instead of spending all my time directing traffic and keeping the schedule in a busy, homeschooling family, I now spend a lot of my time watching them direct their own traffic and keep their own schedules. I’m here as a sounding board, a mentor and a friend more often than a police officer.
This allows me more time for me, something I’m learning how to take advantage of. Right now my day looks mostly like this:
Wake up around 6, get ready and pray the rosary on IG with @manyhailmarysatatime. After the rosary, I usually spend a bit more time in prayer then head down to eat and see what’s going on with whomever is at home.
The mornings are spent helping my last student with whatever he needs help with for school. I usually putz around the house so I’m available to discuss things or help with anything he needs.
We head off together to noon Mass, then come home and eat lunch.
Afternoons are for errands, phone calls, working on my blog/newsletter and whatever else needs doing.
Dinner is around 6 and then my husband and I spend the evening at home catching up with whatever needs catching up. We pray a family rosary with whomever is home then it’s off to bed by 10.
I’m so grateful that today’s technology allows me to chat easily with my children who are not at home. We have a family chat that is quite active every day, so even though they aren’t at home, we all still get to be a part of each others’ lives.
If we look closely, we see the hand of God working in our lives. How is Jesus reaching out to you right now, in your current season of life?
Jesus has been doing a lot of reaching out to me lately! Sometimes I wonder why He didn’t show me some of this stuff sooner, but His timing is perfect, so I have to let that go. Because I have more time on my hands, I’ve been using it to learn about boundaries, self-worth, dreaming big dreams and managing my mind. Now is a time of growth for me and Jesus is leading the way.
I have many friends who are finished homeschooling their kids and I’ve seen them be lost and wandering, not really sure of who they are because all they’ve ever done is homeschool and raise kids. I don’t want that to happen to me, so I’m being proactive and learning how I can grow myself so that I can help others to grow, too.
What truths about yourself has the Lord been revealing in prayer? How does acknowledging these truths in your heart affect your vocation in life?
Truths? There have been many truths about myself that the Lord has been revealing to me as of late. The biggest one has been that I need to transition from “the one in control” to more of an advisory position. Do you know how hard it is to spend over 20 years directing almost every aspect of your children’s lives to...not? My personality is such that I like to direct. I might even go so far as to say I’m good at directing. I had to learn pretty fast that teen/young adult children do not need, nor like, to be directed. I can’t tell you how many times a week I bite my tongue, which thankfully is a number that is growing larger than how many times I SHOULD have bitten it! Learning this truth about myself is making me a much better mother for my children as they grow into adulthood.
Mary Williams, @creatingtolove.
How has encountering Jesus in prayer radically changed your life? What fruits do you see manifested in your day-to-day that flow from encounters with Him?
Back when my oldest daughter was 2 and my youngest was 6 months old I had a profound encounter with the Holy Spirit that radically changed my life. I had a reversion back to the faith, as did my husband, and I cannot even imagine what our lives would be like right now had that not happened.
My prayer life is what sustains me. It gives me the grace to keep growing and to pick myself back up again when I fall. Daily prayer time, daily Mass and a daily family rosary are the things that have kept us going as a family through the good and the bad.
It can often be easy to fall into the trap of discontent in our specific vocations. What has been bringing you peace lately? Do you have any habits, hobbies, or self care practices which fills your heart with peace?
Since I am just on the cusp of a new season in life, I am enjoying all of the new things that I have been encountering. I like when things change in positive ways, so I have been enjoying all of this new freedom that I have.
I’ve been using this free time to learn new things, and am currently finishing up a 6 month intensive program that is helping me dream big dreams and make positive changes in my thoughts and attitudes. Once I’m done with the program, I’ll be working towards becoming a facilitator in groups that help other women do the same thing. Even during the thick of homeschooling, I’ve had a heart for helping other women, so I am looking forward to spending more time in that area. This is what brings me joy and peace. Well, that and spending time with my family. I love when we can all be together, which is only a few times a year, unfortunately.
What words of encouragement would you like to pass on to a woman facing the same choices and challenges as you?
Prayer is the thing that holds everything together. If you’re in this time of older children then you know it is a confusing time - for you and them. Trying to find your place in the lives of your older children can be difficult at times. Sometimes all we can do is pray for them. Take this time to deepen your relationship with the Lord; have a morning prayer routine, take up daily Mass if possible, pray the rosary every day if you don’t already. Learn and grow yourself! Put some effort into defining your own self-worth as a beloved child of God.
You know that your kids won’t always make the choices that are best for them, and that is hard to watch. Staying close to Jesus, being full of gratitude, focusing on the present moment and growing yourself will make it a beautiful time in your life!
Meet Laura Dominick
Laura Dominick is a Catholic author and blogger. Her writings include “A Plan for Joy in the Home: A Workbook on Organizing Your Day for Homeschooling Mothers,” “Our Homeschooling Gratitude Journal,” and several Catholic unit studies on the Saints and their lives.
When she’s not finishing up homeschooling her seven kids (2 years to go!), you can find her at her blog “A Plan for Joy” or on Instagram @a_plan_for_joy. Laura resides in the Midwest with her husband and children.