3 Practical Steps to Embrace Ourselves as Be-Loved
As I sat to write this, I thought about how convenient it would be to have a standard blueprint for belovedness. “Follow these steps and in six weeks, you’ll be able to recognize that you are God’s beloved.” In my experience though, that’s simply not the case.
That being said, I believe that Scripture gives us all things to think about and then apply to our lives. For five years now, I’ve loved the phrase Talitha Koum. Translated as “Little girl, I say to you, arise!” the phrase is uttered by Jesus to raise Jairus’s daughter from the dead.
I invite us all to pray through this story to explore how to embrace our dignity as women and as God’s “beloved.”
1. We can see our belovedness reflected in the eyes of those who love us.
In Mark 5: 21-23, 35-36 we meet Jairus, a prominent man in the synagogue. His daughter is ill and he pleads for Jesus to come to his house to heal her. This father fights for his little girl’s life and loves her fiercely.
Relationships like that are a beautiful opportunity to see our inherent beloved-ness from God reflected back on to us. Even if our own father did not fight for us, we can imagine someone else pleading to Jesus on our behalf.
When I feel like I am unlovable, my community reminds me of the truth: I am a beloved daughter of God. This doesn’t mean that I place our worth in what others think of me, but rather listening gives me the opportunity to allow community to lift me up.
We need to surround ourselves with people that remind us that we are worthy of being cared for and loved.
2. In accepting Jesus’ invitation, we can embrace our whole selves.
When Jesus and a few of His disciples arrived at the home in Mark 5:37-42, they discover chaos. The family had begun grieving the death of the child. Very familiar with the signs of death, the family ridiculed Jesus.
Ignoring them, Jesus went into the room where the little girl lay. “He took the child by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise!” - Mark 5:41.
The little girl immediately gets up and walks. Imagine what this story would be like if Jesus said “Talitha Koum” and the little girl replied: “Well Jesus, I appreciate you thinking of me, but you should choose someone else and ask them to rise. I’m not good enough.”
I look at a situation like that and say “That’s crazy! Little girl, you are so loved and worthy! Rise up!”. I want to tell her to step into the fullness of who God has created her to be.
Yet, I try to pass off God’s attention all the time. I look at the gifts and talents I’ve been given and discount them, believing that I am not worthy.
We must fight the lie that loving ourselves is a sin! We are made to love and be loved. Why would that not extend to loving ourselves and accepting Jesus’ love? It is necessary to love ourselves so that we can both give and receive love from others. We have to allow ourselves to acknowledge our strengths. We have to be brave enough to use those strengths to rise up!
Emily Ha, @inner.eminence.
3. We need ongoing nourishment through rest.
Immediately after healing the little girl, Jesus instructs her family to feed her in Mark 5:43.
Notice here what Jesus doesn’t say. He does not say, “Now that you’re up I want you to do all these big things and run yourself ragged. I gave you such a wonderful opportunity and love you so much, now go prove that you deserve it.” He actually does the exact opposite!
All too often, I place my ability to be loved on what I can accomplish and do for other people. I am a chronic people-pleaser with words of affirmation as my love language. So, I end up doing
for others so that I can feel loved.
That couldn’t be further from what we are called to do. Rather than a recipe for recognizing that I am loved, my doing often turns into the exact opposite, leaving me feeling worthless.
Rest is a remedy. Rest allows us to recognize that we are loved - Loved not because of what we do, but because of who we are. Rest allows our cup to be filled so that we can continue to pour out love. I cannot love others (or myself) if I do not see that I am worthy of rest.
As we continue on together to learn to embrace our identity as “beloved”, I invite you to pause and consider:
1. How am I cultivating a community that can remind me I am loved, especially when I forget? Do I let my community love me? If not, how can I start?
2. How am I recognizing my talents and attributes as gifts from God? How am I using them
to glorify God?
3. How can I concretely act on the knowledge that I am worthy enough to take a break? How am I combatting the lie that I have to do things in order to be loved?
You are worthy of being cared for, dear friend. You are called to rise up and shine. You are worthy of rest.
And above all, remember that you are beloved.
Jairus’s daughter: pray for us.
Meet Gabriela Keator
Often found with a cup of coffee in hand, Gabriela Keator is a recent St. Louis University graduate and just finished a year of service with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps. Originally from Western Massachusetts, she now lives in Houston, TX, and works as a bilingual asylum paralegal at a local nonprofit. She was raised Franciscan and then was Jesuit educated, both of which fostered a passion for exploring the intersections of faith and justice. An avid traveler, she loves to build intentional community through conversation and exploring new places!